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July 24, 2020 - It’s Almost Showtime
If I said I wasn’t scared I would be lying. It is quickly approaching 4 AM, as I lie silently in the hospital bed willing time to slow down. It does not comply.
I wasn’t going to write another entry from Wednesday, but I cannot sleep.
The are retrieving me around 5AM to take me to the OR, where the wii begin surgical prep. I will have a CT scan, a second IV inserted and finally happy feels to quell this mounting anxiety. And finally, I will get to see and hug Jamie.
It has been since 1:56PM on Wednesday since I last physically hugged and kissed Jamie and Mason. I can thank Covid for that as I am not allowed visitors, even my closest loved ones, in the hospital. It feels like a lifetime.
I am so thankful for ALL of the love and support that has been bestowed upon us the last few days. We have felt it in droves since the beginning of this insidious diagnosis one short year ago. I must admit that I never imagined my Stage 3 breast cancer progressing to Stage 4 in the form of cancer tumor in the brain. Pathology will confirm what we already know.
Thank you for all of the outreach, whether it was a call, a text, an email, a comment left on FB or this site. We have read them all and they have filled our hearts,
I am so thankful to my dear brother and sister-in-law who unselfishly dropped everything at a moments notice to drive to Atlanta to be with Jamie and Mason. They will never know how much they are loved. I know they are here for me, but I can’t physically see them until I am released.
Jamie will post an update later today on the surgery. I can only promise you that he will not be nearly as verbose as I. He is a man of few words, but a man with an oversized heart.
His heart is NOT two sizes too small, his heart IS two sizes 2 large! There are some of us that affectionately call him the Grinch, but only because we know it is ironic. I love you Jamie, with all of my heart.
Mason, if this is the last thing I write, know that my last words are my love for you!
Wow! I just went from verbose to morose in about 2 seconds flat! Forgive my ill-timed humor, but moments like these call for a good slap in the face like when Claree told M’Lynn to slap Ouiser! Ouiser was pissed, but M’Lynn needed that diversion- the situation was a bit too intense!!!! (That is a Steel Magnolia’s reference for those of you a bit lost).
In all seriousness I love you all. In a few short hours I hope to give new meaning to the phrase, "It's not like it’s brain surgery”, because I will really know! And, I WILL report back. You can count on it, I am in God’s hands.
And I will be verbose!