July 24, 2019 - Moments That Matter
Today was a day full of moments - some mattered, others not so much.
My day started (as most days) with Mason crawling into bed with me to snuggle. That moment really mattered.
When Jamie left to take Mason to Minecraft/Lego camp, Rick and Jackie (my brother and sis-in-law) brought me coffee and we all sat on the bed and chatted. We chatted about random things, but mostly about my 90-year old mother as she continues to struggle with her health. It was just us being together and talking - really talking - about life. That moment mattered.
We had other small moments today, such as Jamie bringing lunch back to us from Schlotsky's. As simple as that sounds, Rick and Jackie don't have a Schlotsky's in Savannah, so this was a treat for them. That was a fun moment.
After lunch, we headed to the see my plastic surgeon. The good news is that I am now down to only ONE drain left. I can't tell you how much better I feel without those "grenades" hanging from my body. The last one may come out Monday or next Wednesday. It is still performing. The doc was happy with my healing. I'm not there yet, as one side is a little more advanced in the healing, but he thinks is will catch up in time. So far, he is happy with the results. The moment that the drain came out mattered :-)
After that, we had an appointment with my oncologist. It was a first visit, first time meeting with her. I really do like her. I didn't like her message, but I do like her. Moments that matter: both Jamie and Jackie were with me as we discussed my cancer with the oncologist. Having both of them there for support mattered in a big way.
For those who have asked, "what stage cancer?". We have an answer. The funny part is the "staging" part of cancer is really outdated. As my oncologist said, no 2 breast cancers are ever the same. Due the the size of the tumor (6mm), being Grade 3 (the most aggressive), and 3 lymph nodes compromised, it is Stage 3. I really wasn't surprised, but the moment she uttered the words, I knew the moment mattered. We have to now focus on keeping my stage 3 cancer at bay and not giving it any more energy to thrive.
For those who are versed in cancer speak, I do not have my OncoType score, yet. They will send off part of the tumor and have it analyzed, but due to the factors listed above, it really won't matter. Chemotherapy is in my future. I may post the details of the chemo treatment later (it is no secret, but may be tediously boring). Suffice it to say that it will be 16 weeks of hell. The doc wants to go after it aggressively which means chemo every 2 weeks. I will have to have a Pet Scan in the next few weeks to make sure cancer isn't lurking anywhere else. I will also have to have a port inserted. The chemo drug that will be administered the first 8 weeks cannot be administered without a port. It is a nasty drug and can harm your veins. It has a long host of complications that I am not really excited about.
And, yes, I will lose my hair. There are options for some (cold capping), which sometimes allows for your hair to not fall out. Unfortunately, this chemo drug is nasty and powerful. Here is the irony: I pretty much held it together with the doctor and then the nurse. But at the moment when the nurse said, "You will lose your hair", I cried. And, in the whole scheme of things - that does NOT matter.
So, we are all wrapping our heads around the next step in this cancer journey. As I end this post, I will end it with the Moment that Mattered the most. When we arrived home from the hospital, I was greeted with the biggest hug and the most precious words from Mason, "I love you Mommy".
That is all I need. We will win this fight.