November 11, 2021 - Be a Goldfish
I can always tell when I’ve been slow on my journaling. In a very heartfelt way, random texts begin dinging on my phone. My dear friends are waiting on an update. The sounds of silence can be deafening. I didn’t intend to be silent for so long. Sometimes life gets in the way, funny how that happens.
After the blood clot debacle, I have been following doctors orders and taking it easy. Our life is adjusting to the twice a day blood thinner injections. My thighs are littered with bruises, my track marks are a daily reminder. Jamie is still my sous nurse…getting the injection ready, opening my alcohol swab, and actually watching as I jab myself. He is not ready to take over the “sticking me” duties, but for now our arrangement is working.
The swelling in my leg has improved, however if my day is too active, I can see the evidence at night. I must say, “too active” means walking more than I should. I certainly am not active by normal standards. I spend most of my days elevating my leg. The side effects of the chemo cocktail welcome my laziness and naps during the day, so there is that.
The doctors said it could take 3-6 months for the blood clot to reabsorb into my body. It’s a slow waiting game. At least the blood thinners are ensuring the clot(s) don’t grow, and mercifully it is preventing the formation of new clots. Perspective!
I’ve had a lot of time to think about what having terminal cancer means. There are days when I almost forget that I am living with Stage lV cancer, but reminders are always lurking in the shadows. We live our lives in 3-4 month increments, scans to scans, waiting on results. I have been so very lucky that my brain Mets have remained quiet. My next brain MRI is in early December. We are optimistically hopeful that good news awaits us this Christmas season. As Ted Lasso would say, “Believe”.
He is also famous for other zingers, such as:
You know what the happiest animal in the world is? It's a goldfish. It's got a 10 second memory. Be a goldfish.
So, between scans, I am channeling my inner goldfish!
Speaking of Ted Lasso, Jamie and I did dress up for our neighborhood Halloween party. We decided to channel Ted Lasso, which also happens to be one of our favorite shows. I made an attempt at Keely Jones, but no high heels. Sadly, my broken body can’t manage heels, so biker boots had to suffice. Jamie look great, but even better when he had the sunglasses on. Sadly, I have no picture of that. And, before you ask, that is a long pony tail wig that I am wearing. I love it!
Until next time…be a goldfish!