Discover more from Moments Matter: Thriving With Metastatic Breast Cancer
April 27, 2020 - Twenty Four Years Ago...
To My Dearest Jamie,
Today is April 27th. Most importantly, today is our 24th wedding anniversary. It is hard to believe that we have been married for 24 years. I’ve known and loved you for more than half my life. Little did we know how rich and blessed our life would be when we exchanged vows on that Saturday afternoon by the ocean.
We have lived a very adventurous life. We have traveled many places and experienced so many new and different things together. We grew up together. I couldn’t imagine living life without you.
We were married 14 years and then our life changed immeasurably. We chose not to have children right away, but we certainly didn’t know it would be 14 years before our life changed in ways impossible to articulate. The day our son was born, our love grew deeper than either one of us knew possible.
Mason James completed our family. He is the culmination of the best of you and the best of me – all rolled into one very curious, kind, and sweet little boy. He makes us laugh. He makes us cry. He makes us love.
When you choose your life partner, you never really think it through. Well, I didn’t. I knew you were the one for me and that I wanted to be your wife. I knew we were vowing to stay together for better or for worse, but at the time, you really don’t think about the worst. I certainly didn’t consider us facing breast cancer together.
When I reflect on the last 12 months, I marvel at everything that you did for me, without a complaint or a frown. You were there for me every second of every day. Every night before we went to sleep, you were quick to say, “wake me up if you need anything”. In the middle of the night, if I made a sound, you were quick to check on me.
You made sure I took my medicine. You were with me through all my surgeries. You emptied my drains without complaint. You helped me shower and you gently dried me off. You changed my bandages with care.
You held me when my mother died. You helped Mason and I get through the pain of losing her.
You took me to every doctor’s appointment and sat with me through every chemo infusion. You rubbed my feet daily to alleviate pain and bring me comfort. You filled my water glass multiple times a day. You made sure I ate and stayed strong.
You made all my appointments, spoke to my nurses and doctors, dealt with the insurance companies. You were my voice, when I was numb and voiceless. You were there for me when I lost my hair. You made sure I didn’t lose my mind. You held me when I cried. And you were Mason’s daddy through all of this. You kept our family together.
Gratitude. I have so much love and gratitude for you. I hope I never have to return the favor because I couldn’t bear seeing you suffer. But know, I would do it in a heartbeat, without hesitation. You mean the world to me. And as I look back on the past 12 months, you showed our son what it means to be a good husband and father. You showed him how to be a good man. For that, I am grateful.
I will love you forever.